Imagine for a moment, you are surrounded by warmth. Sounds nice. See that tube connected to your belly, yes, that thing. That tube is supplying you with everything your body needs. No its not beer, not yet. Now imagine someone reaching in with a pair of metal forceps and inviting you to follow.
Follow is not exactly the way you would put it. You have no choice.
"Hey, watch where you put those Forceps. How would you like me to take those forceps and squeeze your mmmm? You wouldn't like it either, would you?"
So in place of the forceps, a hand appears and guides your head out.
"Don't pull so hard. My head will come off if you keep pulling. And watch my shoulders. No, they don't turn on a dime. I thought you were supposed to pull me out two months from now. How about just pushing me back in and it will be our little secret. I'll just come out when I am ready. Do you think it would be too much if I stay here for another eighteen years? No, a little too long, you think?"
You feel a force behind you, pushing you out of your warm, cozy room with no view. Turning around you see nothing but a wall getting closer. "MMM, how can that be?"
"Okay, if you insist," you say to the hand. But I promise you if you try to twist my head off like a cap on a cheap bottle of wine, I'll gum your finger to death."
The hand guides you past the rumble strips and the speed bump. As your head comes out of the dark, you see something bright. Having been in a dark room for the past nine months, anything would look bright.
"The feet, remember the feet. They are attached to me and I want them. Don't even think of tickling them. I have nine months of poop and I know how to use it. That's better. Now what do you want me to do? Cry? What is a cry? What does a Cry sound like?"
Then the hand slaps your rear end and you cry.
"Hand, did you slap me? I thought we had a verbal agreement. As soon as I can figure out what a lawyer is, I'm going to get one. I'll see you in court."
"What do you mean it won't hurt a bit? It hurt like heck. How would you like someone to cut off your feeding tube while you were awake. You could have at least offered me a beer."
You open your eyes and see people in masks.
Someone is saying "He's Cute. Does he have all this fingers and toes?"
"Yes, I think I do, thank you. But would someone turn off the bright. I really got used to the dark. Would someone please push me back into my little room. I was happy there. Who is making all that noise? I have never heard anything like it before in my life. What do you mean, it's me. How can it be me? I don't even know what crying is. Tell you what, push me back into my room with no view and we can forget any of this ever happened. Would someone please reconnect my feeding tube!"
Follow is not exactly the way you would put it. You have no choice.
"Hey, watch where you put those Forceps. How would you like me to take those forceps and squeeze your mmmm? You wouldn't like it either, would you?"
So in place of the forceps, a hand appears and guides your head out.
"Don't pull so hard. My head will come off if you keep pulling. And watch my shoulders. No, they don't turn on a dime. I thought you were supposed to pull me out two months from now. How about just pushing me back in and it will be our little secret. I'll just come out when I am ready. Do you think it would be too much if I stay here for another eighteen years? No, a little too long, you think?"
You feel a force behind you, pushing you out of your warm, cozy room with no view. Turning around you see nothing but a wall getting closer. "MMM, how can that be?"
"Okay, if you insist," you say to the hand. But I promise you if you try to twist my head off like a cap on a cheap bottle of wine, I'll gum your finger to death."
The hand guides you past the rumble strips and the speed bump. As your head comes out of the dark, you see something bright. Having been in a dark room for the past nine months, anything would look bright.
"The feet, remember the feet. They are attached to me and I want them. Don't even think of tickling them. I have nine months of poop and I know how to use it. That's better. Now what do you want me to do? Cry? What is a cry? What does a Cry sound like?"
Then the hand slaps your rear end and you cry.
"Hand, did you slap me? I thought we had a verbal agreement. As soon as I can figure out what a lawyer is, I'm going to get one. I'll see you in court."
"What do you mean it won't hurt a bit? It hurt like heck. How would you like someone to cut off your feeding tube while you were awake. You could have at least offered me a beer."
You open your eyes and see people in masks.
Someone is saying "He's Cute. Does he have all this fingers and toes?"
"Yes, I think I do, thank you. But would someone turn off the bright. I really got used to the dark. Would someone please push me back into my little room. I was happy there. Who is making all that noise? I have never heard anything like it before in my life. What do you mean, it's me. How can it be me? I don't even know what crying is. Tell you what, push me back into my room with no view and we can forget any of this ever happened. Would someone please reconnect my feeding tube!"
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