Friday, January 06, 2006

Just a Little Donation, Congressman

Psst.
You there.
Yes, I'm talking to you.
I want to give you $100,000.00.
Yes, Congressman. I'm speaking to you. You and I are the only ones in this bathroom.
No, this is not a joke.
Do I look like a joke, Congressman?
Look, all I want to do is give you a hundred grand.
Catches? No, Congressman. There are no catches.
I'm just a nice guy. And I would guess you are nice guy, too!
You are a nice guy, Congressman?
Of course you are a nice guy.
That's why I'm going to donate this money to your re-election fund.

I bet your thinking right now, there is not such thing as a free lunch.
I represent some people who have similar interests like yourself.
They want what is right for the American People.
If you accept this little offer from them, they will be very happy.
Yes, it is a little offer.

Let me cut to the chase, Congressman.
I will be sending you emails concerning some upcoming bills.
I want you to read the emails and if you agree in what they say, I want you to vote from your heart. And if your heart agrees with us, then I can assure you, there will be more money for you.
However, if your heart does not agree with us, then you can kiss the money goodbye.

Don't worry, Congressman. There is nothing illegal about this. Everyone in Washington can be bought.

Congressman, you might want to zip yourself up before you return to your office. You don't want people to talk, do you?