Quit your 9-5 job!

Are you tired of working for someone else?
Do you dream of quitting and becoming a zillonare?
Do you remember college when you needed money, you just picked up the phone and called dear old mommy or daddy. And the money arrived without a question.
And if the money did not come as quickly as you wanted, then you kept asking until they opened their wallets.

I want you all to reach into your pockets or purses and send me the first twenty dollar bill that your fingers touch. Yes, that's the one. Right there. And for that twenty dollars I will send you, 'The Guide for Making a Zillion Dollars.'

But for a limited time, if you send me a fifty dollar bill or two twenties and a ten, I will send you a personally signed copy of 'The Guide for Making a Zillion Dollars."
After you have read this simple guide to riches, you will of course want to have it framed. So as a special offer to all my friends. And you are indeed my friends, I am offering you a 12x16 inch gold-leaf frame for just $2000.00 And if money is a little tight, I can offer you financing which will make me more money than the frame is really worth. But that's okay because I have taken your money and you are quite happy.

So now that I have your attention, I want you to send me seventy five dollars in cash. Be sure to tell your friends about this limited time offer. When your friends order a copy of 'The Guide for Making a Zillion Dollars' for just a hundred dollars, you will get a ten dollar reward. Just think of all your friends sending me two hundred dollars and you getting ten dollars for each of their orders. In no time at all you will be able to take a trip of your dreams.

When I have taken as much money as I can possibly use, I will move on. Then I will travel to some beach and dream up another way to make a zillion dollars from suckers such as yourself.

Mice Infected With Bubonic Plague Missing

Recently three mice which happened to be infected with bubonic plague became missing in action. It was just one of those things which I'm sure happens all the time in research. The last researcher closes up at night and just forgets to close the cage. The government says the mice may never be accounted for.

The government says the mice may have been stolen, eaten by a hungry lab assistant or just misplaced. Misplaced?

In a local community near the lab a little boy asks his mother, "Can I have a pet?"
"What did you have in mind?"
"I found these cute little mice in the back yard," her son says.
"Okay, but you have to take care of them. I don't want them running all over the house.