Coma Airlines

"Coma Airlines. How may I direct your call?"
"I would like to make reservations for two adults and two children.
"Okay, that will be $100.00 dollars each. How do you want to pay?"
"But we want to go overseas."
"Yes, that's correct. It's a hundred dollars for each person. Age does not matter."
"Can I send you a check?"
"No!"
"What credit cards to you take?"
"None."
"Well, how am I supposed to pay for the tickets?"
"Cold cash will be fine."
"But how do I make sure that we get seats?"
"You and the family come to the airport a day or so before we depart and stand in line with the rest of the cattle, sorry, I mean passengers."
"We would like first class seats. What is the movie and can we get kids movies for our children? My wife is allergic to milk and I like my steak medium rare."
"All of the seats are first class or at least as close to first class as you can get for $100.00 a seat. We do not have any movies and you won't be eating anything during the flight. We would suggest that you pile on several layers of clothes, gloves and thick socks."
"But what are the kids going to do for 12 hours?"
"Have you ever heard of sedation medicine?"
"Why yes, I have."
"We go a couple of steps further. Since there are two pilots and three female flight attendants sealed in a climate controlled cabin with food, beverage, their own restrooms and movies running throughout the flight, there really is no need to heat the passenger cabin."

"But what if the little ones have to go to the restroom?"
"Ah, but you see there are no restrooms. Do you have any idea how much space those toilets take up? And with all that damn plumbing, we just put seats their instead."
"You're kidding, right?"
"No, I'm not. When you enter the cabin, you are given a release form to fill out. It's just a lot of legaleeze our lawyers want us to have you sign. In a nutshell, it says that we will do the best we can to keep the plane in the air. But if for some unforeseen reason, the plane suddenly falls from the sky and breaks up into a million pieces, you or whats left of you or your relatives will not sue us or anyone who works for us. Furthermore, we will do the best we can to bring you out of your coma.
But you have to understand, since there is no heat in the plane at 50,000 feet, your bodies might not thaw as well as they should. But if you dress warmly then you should be just fine."
"I, I, don't know about this."
"What's not to like? You and the family can fly for $400.00 each way. Just think of all the money you will save."

"Thank you for flying Coma Airlines. And don't forget to wear gloves as well. Fingers sometimes just break off and it's a bitch to match them up."