Read this only after eating

Did you have a good breakfast? Was your purse or briefcase still on the kitchen counter from last night? I know, I know. It's so much easier to leave it there. Getting going in the mornings is sometimes a bear and if you are in a hurry, all you have to do is grab the purse or briefcase and dash.
Okay, take another sip of your coffee. What I'm about to tell you might make you think twice about where you leave your purse or briefcase. Do you remember where you were two days ago? You were about to board the plane when mother nature called. You dashed into the airport restroom, put your purse/briefcase down on the floor and did your business. When you were done, you raced out of the restroom, only to be greeted by the airline announcing that your flight was being delayed because the pilot needed to sober up first and there were no other pilots available to take his place unless you wanted the brand new pilot who had never flown this kind of jet before, but hey, aren't all jets the same?

And you joined all the other passengers and the pilot at the local coffee place which sold coffee which was too expensive but it had some kick to it. And you put your briefcase/purse on the floor but hey it could get stolen, so you moved your briefcase/purse to the table surface. And you sat down and drank and drank because the pilot was really drunk and it seemed that no amount of coffee was making him any more alert. And you went back to the airline counter and they said, "Gee, we are really sorry but all the other planes have all departed and yours is the only one left before the really big storm which the forecasters said would not hit us, hit us but just be patient because it looks like the pilot now knows which is his left and right hand. And it should not be much longer!"

And you went back to the restroom and put your purse/briefcase on the floor and did your business. And as you were going to get your sixth cup of really expensive coffee, the airline announced the plane was boarding and they were waiting for one passenger(you) and you ran like a crazy person out of the restroom and you were almost to the gate when you realized your purse/briefcase was not in your hand and you turned around and ran back to the restroom, yelling "Don't you dare touch that purse/briefcase," to the bomb squad as they poked your bag with a twenty foot Fiberglas pole. You ran back to the gate as the pilot was being wheeled in next to you. And he was saying that he could fly the plane in his sleep. And you got to your seat and sat down. And then mother nature nudged you and said, "What are you going to do about all this coffee in your bladder?"

That was two days ago. Since then, your purse/briefcase has been all over. And now it sits on your breakfast counter. Guess what sits there too? E-coli and other bugs which could make you really sick.
Each time you put down the purse/briefcase on any surface, these little bugs get a free ride. A restroom floor is not the cleanest. Nor are the tables at your local coffee shop with the too expensive cups of over-rated coffee. Add to that, the car seats in a taxi. You can afford a taxi?
Try walking.
Each time you place your purse/briefcase on a surface, it attracts new guests. And yes, these are working guests. They stay and play and multiply and invite other friends over to have a ball.
And if you should happen to touch the bottom of your bag and don't wash your hands, because hey, how dirty can this bag be, and you pick up your fork and the rest is history.

I'm almost done but if you need to run to the bathroom and lose dinner, go ahead.
Just clean the bags. Soap and water or one of those sanitize cloths will do. Just make sure that you don't stain the bag. Clean a small area and see if the nice black bag turns arctic white. If that happens to the whole bag, buy another one.

You know those little hooks on the back of bathroom doors? They are there for a reason.
Put your damn bag on it.
And be sure to tell the replacement pilot that this jet does not have propellers.