New TSA training

The T.S.A. in their infinite wisdom, decided to go against the wishes of flight attendants and pilots, and allow passengers to again carry scissors and screwdrivers on their flights. I was getting used to taking off my shoes when I flew and now, I don't have to.
Now the agency is training a small handful of screeners to spot passengers who exhibit high levels of stress and anxiety during the holiday season. Behavior recognition helps the screeners identify suspicious passengers.

Let's say you are traveling with your four kids. You're hauling all their toys and things to keep them occupied on the flight to the aunties. You and your wife are getting stressed from running after the little kiddies. You both will be so pleased when you can strap the kids into their seats on the plane.
But wait, you need to relax. You had better not look too stressed. OH God, did you pack the smallest ones blankey? What if it's not in the suitcase? He will scream bloody murder. Did you put enough diapers in the small suitcase? What if the green suitcase does not make it on the plane? All the kids electronics are in it?
Was the newspaper cancelled? What if the mail piles up in the mailbox, will the next door neighbor who plays that god awful music, decide to ransack the house?

Now imagine the above situation happening to 10,000 people in the airport at a time?

Perhaps the TSA screeners should look for people acting normally.

There is an idiot in this house

As we were getting dressed this morning, my lovely wife asked if I was going to take my walk outside. Both of us had just heard the weather report and the outside temperature was a cool 25 degrees.
I told that I was going to take a walk. And she said there was an idiot in the house. I looked at her with the look that all husbands have, when their spouses have implied that there is an idiot in the house. Guys, we are the idiots. Wives are never the idiot. Some of us might think that wives do idiotic things but we do more idiotic things than they do idiotic. Perhaps, we were born idiotic. I wonder if scientists will ever find the idiot gene in men?

As I responded to her question, I reached for the thermal long sleeved shirt. I might be an idiot but 25 is 25. Twenty five is not 75 unless you are freezing to death. I would have put on my thermal bottoms but they are either lost in the maze of clothes in my drawers or I lost them somewhere else in the house. Next, I pulled on my long sleeved sweat shirt and sweat pants. Gym socks and tennis shoes were almost last.

Going downstairs, I put on a thin 70 degree something jacket. I slipped on the reflective tapes so the idiots on the road would see me before they hit me. Gloves and a black ski mask and I was ready to venture out into the 25 degree morning air for a brisk walk.

I told our two dogs to watch the house as I pulled the door closed.
Then I began my brisk walk.
Christ it was cold.
Who was the idiot who thought it would be warm?
I thought these gloves were supposed to keep my fingers, toasty warm?
I think my toes are frozen.
I thought about stomping my shoes on the pavement but I stopped short because the idiot I am, thought my toes would snap off.
The front of my ski mask was wet from my breath. The wet was no longer warm but cold. I had cold wetness clinging to my mouth.
I kept on walking and somehow I warmed up, a little. Very Little. Not enough to jump up and down about.
My forty five minute brisk walk seemed to take three hours.
As I opened the door to our house, I was greeted by my two dogs.
I think they were trying to tell me that only idiots take walks on freezing days.

A Tabletop Exercise

Recently, the Office of Homeland Security conducted a drill involving some military officers, Cabinet members and others. The purpose of the drill was to determine how well the response would be of the government to a Bird Flu pandemic. During the four hour drill, the participants were supposed to be pushed to the breaking point.

My questions to the Office of Homeland Security are:
Did you really learn anything from this drill?
Don't you think three days would accomplish more in the way of finding gaps in your response than four hours?
If you want to see how people work under pressure, let them drink all the coffee they want. Then lock the bathroom doors. You will get answers.
Who are the others?
Did the others have name badges? Was their name "Other?"
Why were the others invited?
Did the others bring the coffee and bagels?

All kidding aside, I hope these people and the others learned something from their short exercise. I hope these people will be better prepared, the next time something happens to the USA.
And above all, I hope these people will not point the finger at someone else and blame them for screwing up.
We look to the government for leadership. We don't need another excuse!

Wine, Beer, Screwdrivers or Scissors

Thank you T.S.A. No one would ever have thought to end a band on screwdrivers or scissors on airlines. All the flight attendants were quite happy with the band but no, you had to cave to the "Screw you Association of America" and the "Paper and scissor Federation of the lower east side." What were you thinking when you lifted the band?
No, don't tell us. We would never believe you.
I'm sure there is a perfectly good reason to allow passengers to carry screwdrivers on board. Perhaps you were thinking, passengers with screwdrivers could tighten screws on the doors or the seats. But would that not tick off the airline mechanics union? Wait till I tell the union, you are trying to take away their jobs. Boy will you ever be in deep dodo.

As for the scissors, there must be a handful of passengers who need to cut coupons out of local newspapers while they wait for their plane to take off.

Please TSA, show us a little common sense. It is not hard to do it. Set an example for the rest of the government. Just imagine, if you guys start using common sense, then perhaps other agencies might do the same. And in no time, we would have a government which uses common sense.

I hope the TSA does not decide remove toilet paper from the bathrooms. Someone might use it to start a fire to stay warm!